Walking into your first IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting can feel overwhelming. You're in a room full of professionals — teachers, a school psychologist, a special education coordinator — and you're the only one there without a title. I know that feeling firsthand, because I've sat in that chair myself, advocating for my own child.
Here's what I wish someone had told me before my first meeting.
Request the draft IEP in advance. You're entitled to see a draft before the meeting, not just have it presented to you for the first time in the room. Ask for it in writing, with enough time to actually read it.
Bring your own notes — and don't be afraid to reference them. Write down your child's strengths, your concerns, and any specific questions ahead of time. It's easy to forget half of what you meant to say once the meeting starts moving quickly.
Know that “the way we've always done it” isn't a legal requirement. Schools have routines, and sometimes those routines get presented as if they're the only option. They're often not. If something doesn't sit right, it's fair to ask why, and to ask what alternatives exist.
You can pause the meeting. If you need more time to think something over, you're allowed to say so and reconvene. You don't have to sign anything on the spot.
Bring a second set of ears if you can. A spouse, a friend, or an advocate. It's hard to actively participate and take thorough notes at the same time.
Most of all — you know your child better than anyone in that room. The professionals bring expertise in education; you bring expertise in your kid. Both matter.
If you're heading into an IEP meeting, an evaluation, or you're just not sure where to start with the process, I'm happy to talk through what to expect. This isn't something you have to figure out alone.
